When was the last time you and your spouse had a meaningful conversation that wasn’t about the kids? Right!? How about a quiet meal together? Dare I throw out your last date night?
No worries, you’re not alone. Kids are a lot of work!
And, if you have a child with special needs, add in challenges like IEP meetings, therapy appointments, doctor visits and driving 50 miles one way each day because it’s the only school that can accommodate your child’s unique needs.
So, all things considered, how DO you nurture your personal marriage relationship; the cornerstones of your family?
For my husband and I, as Christians, praying together was a foundational brick that we laid in unison every day. But as parents of three children, two born in our hearts through adoption and coming to us with years of abuse and neglect, my husband and I struggled to find time to connect in meaningful ways throughout the day.
By recommendation of our pastor, we learned about a tool that taught us how to make our conversations and time together really count.
If you’ve not heard about the Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman, let me introduce you!
According to Dr. Chapman, there are five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. Depending on our personality type, we may feel love differently than our partner. Understanding your partner's love language helps you to know how to offer your love in a way that is most meaningful to your partner.
My love language is Words of Affirmation, so my husband made an extra effort to affirm me by way of words, a sweet note, a text, etc. My husband’s language (which was my lowest language) is Physical Touch, so I learned to attempt to touch him gently throughout the day.
Incorporating this into our daily interactions made an incredible difference in our relationship, as in receiving love in a way that we understood, we both felt more connected.
If you have an interest in learning your love language, you can take the online test here for free. It’s a fun thing to do together and share with each other.
You can also explore parenting through your child’s language of love.
That’s a lot of love going around!