...and in our brokenness, we are found.
It was during a season of my own brokenness that I came upon the beautiful Japanese art of Kintsugi. When I held the teacup with golden lines illuminating its scars, I knew in my hands, I held a piece of God’s heart.
We were the perfect Facebook choreographed family. Don’t get me wrong we didn’t pretend; there was genuine love, wonderful years, and precious moments, but there were also secrets and struggle. The world saw the perfect us, the dark secrets and struggle, we kept those hidden. I told myself I was “covering my husband”, but looking back, I see pride played a part.
Did you know that when we keep secrets in darkness, we give them power to grow? And, they break us.
I laid awake the entire night, the shards of my shattered life and my fragile identity beneath me in a thousand pieces; pieces I feared I would never be able to put back together. I didn’t have the strength to get up and the thought of facing people at church who had surely heard that I’d left my husband of 25 years, was overwhelming and frightening. But I knew my children were watching me closely and seeking comfort and security from my actions. So, I asked Jesus to take my hand, picked myself up off the floor, and told my children to ready themselves for church.
I don’t recall the questions or trying to avoid people, but I’m sure both happened. Instead, I recall vividly the tears I could not hold back as I desperately searched for God in the worship music, the pastor’s message, and the prayers. But God felt as distant to me as strength and courage.
On the way home, we stopped at the local music store to have a new sting placed on my daughter’s violin. As we watched the kind gentleman with silver hair gently release the frayed pieces still intact, the teacup behind him caught my eye. “Where did you get that beautiful teacup?” I asked. Ahhh, he exhaled almost as if he’d been waiting for me to ask. He put down the violin, reached behind himself, and with a slight bow, presented the cup to me with both hands.
“In my country, we believe things that are broken do not lose value nor should they be discarded. Instead, we mend them and give them new life. The mending is often a long process, but true restoration takes time. When the vessel is whole again, we then dust the cracks with gold to illuminate its courage journey that makes it far more beautiful for having been broken.
God was speaking to me, reminding me…
" I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." ~John 16:33
From there, I invited Him into each day. I sought His gentle whispers as I began to pick up the seemingly unusable shards of my life. And, I explored the art of Kintsugi which continued to reveal God's redemption story into my life.
A few months after, when I mended my first bowl laced in gold, I felt God whisper, reveal my glory in this Art of Broken Pieces.”
So, I’m here today sharing with you. The beauty I’ve found in broken pieces and how God taught me about redemption through this art is a gift I offer with two hands.
I believe that God wants to show you that same beauty in your story.
And I’m praying you too, will allow God to restore your heart.