The dust particles twinkled as they danced in the stream of morning light, coming to rest softly upon the tabletop. I sat quietly noting their beauty and how, except for a brief morning interlude, the settling of dust goes unseen until it fully lands.
So, too, is a missed opportunity.
It has now been four weeks of quarantine; the shock is fading, and new norms are taking shape. We are still in crisis, but we are learning to consider the risks, manage impact, and look for gifts presented in the resifting of life.
I watch the statistics of elderly dying from COVID-19 and I think of my mother. I think of all the things I should have or would have said before she passed, if I had known the opportunity was brief and urgent. Our mother/daughter relationship was hard. Most are. For me, it felt like she was innately woven into the fabric of who I was, yet being with her often pulled the threads into an uncomfortable or hard to live with tightness; a tightness I chose to avoid by avoiding her. I know this hurt her, as well as other things. I understand it today better than ever, and I regret.
Life is never guaranteed, and it can shift on a dime. Just look at how quickly the pandemic hit and the chaos it caused.
It is my wish for you, that you do not come to know the regret of unspoken words. I want to encourage, no; I want to challenge you to not miss the opportunity to write a forgiveness letter to your mother or anyone with whom you have a trying relationship.
You will know best what stands between you and what you would regret not having said. There are many elements to a thoughtful letter, but I have included the basic steps for you.
- Write your intention - example "my intention in writing this letter is to....
- Take responsibility
- Ask forgiveness
- Share your desire for healing
The Gift ~
However the dust lands, you will have given yourself and your mother a most precious gift of love. And, should you be afforded more days together after this crisis has passed, you will have opened the door for a new relationship to blossom.
If you need additional help at getting started or want to understand what elements are important. Simply type "forgiveness letter" in the comment and I'll send you a copy!
Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.