People, magazines, social media, friends, partners, relatives, you name it, if they feel bad to be around, they’re probably bad to have around. Anything that makes you feel minimized, drained, fat or ugly just doesn’t deserve a place in your life. Don’t allow these negative things to take up space in your mind, heart, and life. Evaluate what you might need to eliminate or if you need to set stronger boundaries around these things. By doing this, you make room for the people and experiences that make you a better person and bring you joy.
Relationships - The People Clutter
One-sided friendships. Toxic relationships. The Takers. The people that drain you or reduce you. The ‘friends’ who are never there when you need them, expect you to be on call, deliver back-handed compliments or make you feel like crap. Right? Draw a line between you and them and use that space for the people who you enjoy being around.
I’ve heard it said that we become the average of the five people we spend the most time with. It makes sense. We allow ourselves to be vulnerable with those close to us. We open ourselves to their love, their influence, and their opinions – especially their opinion of us. However, vulnerability also means that when we open ourselves to the good, we also open ourselves to the bad.
Think about the five people you spend the most time with. How would you describe each of these five people in just a few words? If the words make you feel bad, ask what you’re getting out of the relationship. If it’s not good for you, it’s just not good. Sometimes it’s not about you or them, but about the combination of both of you.
Sadly, this can go for relatives too, even your immediate family. Only it is more challenging, painful, or simply not a choice to remove them from your life. This is where firm boundaries may come in.
When Social Media Makes You Feel Less Like Being Social
How many times have you viewed Facebook and felt that others are more successful, happier, and more “liked" than you? I’ve certainly been there.
While you may think others are more, have more, etc., remember that they may actually be comparing themselves to you. If you stepped away from social media for 30 days, how many of these friends would contact you personally and say, “hey, you’ve been quiet, is everything okay"? If you’re lucky enough to have a few, those are the friendship you may want to nurture and spend time with.
The same goes for photo-shopped magazines, airbrushed TV characters, and social sites. While social media has its attributes, let’s be real, it’s largely unreal. Take lightly, better yet, pass by that which makes you feel bad or steals your joy. Instead, train your mind to focus on the parts of you and your life that make you feel good.
Your Most Important Relationship - You
You know yourself better than anyone. You can be your own best friend or your worst enemy. The choice is yours. It’s not always easy to love ourselves. Let’s face it, we are also our own worst critics. We focus on our flaws, compare ourselves to others, and immerse ourselves in imaginary norms that leave us feeling... not quite enough. The relationship you have with yourself will be the foundation for how you engage and react to life. Pay attention to the negative talk; choose to dismiss it immediately. Train your mind and heart to see the good in everything. Cliché as it may be, we are what we think about. Choose wisely!